"Mom, you know I need a cell phone."
"No, you do not 'need' a cell phone."
"All my friends have a cell phone."
"That is a terrible reason."
"You will be able to call me and tell me to come home whenever you want."
"Yeah, or you could just wear a watch."
"Watches are for nerds."
"Dad wears a watch."
"Yeah, and he also has a phone!"
"I'm not buying you a phone."
"You would always know where I am!"
"I already always know where you are. You are usually here, arguing with me about the cell phone."
"See, buy me a cell phone and the arguing will stop."
"The arguing will stop or you will vacuum the stairs."
"Please cell phone!"
"No cell phone."
Last night Carter decided a different approach might be more effective. While I was downstairs putting the other kids to bed, he cleaned the kitchen. And not just a little clean; he unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, swept the floor, put the rest of dinner in the fridge and wiped the counters and table. It was beautiful. When he came downstairs later he said, "If you buy me a cell phone I will clean the kitchen like this every night!" Hmmm. Tempting. Or, he could just clean the kitchen because he is part of the family...
Today after school he snuck downstairs, opened a bottle of Martinelli's Sparkling Cider, got two goblets out of the china cupboard and offered me some. 
"Mother, I think we should discuss this like adults."
I was warned once by my father never to accept a drink from an attractive man with "ulterior" motives. So I asked him point blank, "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
"Will it work?" He countered, hopefully.
Nope.
But I did promise I would bring it up for discussion. What do you think? Isn't 12 just a little young for a cell phone? When did you or your kids get cell phones? Do you think they are necessary or distracting? And, if you wereree meee wwhhat woudl you doooo?
I think I'm feeling a little tipsy...
"he he he..."
14 comments:
That is a tough choice. I think we got our first extra cell phone when Troy was 13. We kept running into situations, mostly involving church activities, where we needed to be able to track him down at a certain time for logistical reasons. It wasn't his phone...it was just to be given to whatever kid we needed to get in contact with...but for a while, that was just him. I always swore I would not get my kids each their own phones. For a few months when she was 11, Coree was lobbying really hard for one, and when I switched over to a data phone, I gave her the option to pay the monthly "family plan" fee to use my old one...which would have taken almost her entire allowance. She opted not to do it. (Allowance is great...forces them to make great choices with the money they've had to earn themselves and takes SO much pressure off parents. I believe it saves us money in the long run.)
Anyway, all that changed when we moved to Japan. Our kids go to 3 schools on 3 different bases and we live on a 4th. The whole foreign country thing just scared me a bit, so we got them each a phone within a week of our arrival. When the kids have their phones on them (and charged) it's a great system...but so often they forget to charge them, or leave them home...or lose them. Patrick's has been missing for months...and we just spent 3 hours hunting down the Japanese police station where Jake's had been dropped off.
All that to tell you, I don't have an answer for you. I think you just have to look at the cost/benefits analysis. I'm sure it's different for every family. I'm not sure if I'd go back and not sign the 2 year contract that has me paying $170 a month for the use of 5 cell phones. I guess it depends if you ask me on a day where I've been able to get a hold of a kid in a pinch...or if I've tried to call said kid only to hear her phone ring on her dresser. Good luck!
I think (and I totally don't know because my kids are not at this stage) that cell phones for teens are primarily used for texting and socializing with other teens and occasionally works for parent contact. So you have to ask if you want him texting his friends constantly. I know when I was a teen I was on the phone 4 hours a day--crazy! Nice thing about texting--you know what is being said. Sounds like he wants to join the conversation--kids don't talk on the phone or face to face anymore. I like Carrie's idea of having him pay for the monthly fees.
That Carter is a clever one! Pretty hilarious. My sister is going through the same thing with her 13 yr old.. she said not happening till he is 16 and then its not his phone it is a family phone only to be taken when she says.
I have to say cell phones are over- rated!
I used to have answers; or so I thought. Now I am a grandma and get to watch my children search for answers. At least you get to ponder while enjoying a glass of Martinelli's.
ps - is Carter's middle name Jonathan?
Great story!
Alison just got her first phone. She's 15 1/2 and we only got it because she has practice after school and the school has NO phone for students! We were going to wait until May when she's 16.
Good luck and may your discussions include many many nights of clean kitchens!
This was so funny (although it probably shouldn't be). I like Carter's sense of humor, and had a good laugh at the pictures of him. As to answering your question....I have no idea. I remember when we lived in CA, Jess told me that someday our kids would have cell phones as teenagers. I laughed at him. But he was right. Carter seems like a pretty responsible kid, so maybe it will work. I think some rules as to # of texts per day/week, approropriate times for use, etc. will be in place when my kids get cell phones. I also foresee them helping with the monthly bill or paying for their texts or something like that. Good luck!!
I got my first cell phone when I was 30. If it worked for me it'll work for Carter.
Amanda's getting her first when she starts jr. high next year. She doesn't know it yet, but I want her to be able to call me from the middle of class if necessary. You know, our so cal schools can be a little scary sometimes. (Morally more than anything where we are, and I want her to be able to get out of any situation anytime necessary.)
Like suggested earlier, though, it will really be the "kid phone" that will happen to be mainly in her possession -- at least until the next one has more of a need on occasion as well.
Also, like suggested earlier, we'll add all sorts of restrictions to the contract, including a shut off time for the phone. I didn't even know you could do that until I tried to call a babysitter at 9:30 one evening and it played a generic message about "this number not available at this time." I also could not send her a text, and frankly, I really liked that idea.
Good luck, and let us know!
Phone...ok, no txting or picture sending...that's my vote. A year ago a Father in our town had his 14 year old son come to him, a little weepy and scared and showed him a naked picture that a girl he went to high school with sent him. Txting is too silent and the picture thing takes 5 secs of bad judgment to result in something that can haunt you forever! Oh, and make sure that he turns it in to you in the evening and you charge it in your bathroom/bedroom. The kitchen counter doesn't work because kids have access to that in the middle of the night.
Too funny! I was trying to remember when I got my first cell phone. I believe I was in the first year of college and then I had to pay for it all myself. Unlimited texting sure was popular in my day!! :)
My kids got a phone when they really started being away from home more. About 13. We joke, though and say our youngest will probably get one when he is 8. . .
Carter is funny. The clean kitchen would have made my heart swoon and my lips say yes. The martinellis would have been wasted.
Wish you lived down the street.
Good luck. Carter can have Riley's cell phone when he goes on his mission. Riley wanted a new phone for Christmas, but I didn't want to sign a two year contract when his phone won't be used during his mission. He didn't even offer to clean the kitchen. Too bad Carter isn't here to influence his cousins.
Smart approach, Carter. I respect you...and laugh.
LMBO. Both my older boys have started to ask for a cell phone. Our conversation?
ME: "Why do you "need" a cell phone?"
BOYS: "How else are we going to talk to our friends?"
ME: "Call them on the home phone, talk to them at school/church/basketball, email them, ride your bike to their house, rent a homing pigeon and attach a note, perfect ESP,...I could go on and on."
BOYS: "You are setting us up for social failure"
ME: "Yeah, a coded language transmitted without any human contact is VERY social."
BOYS: "We will be nerds."
ME: "I love nerds."
BOYS: "Cell phones are cool"
ME: "So is wearing shorts in winter and you already do that."
BOYS: "You are mean."
ME: (Silent cheer in my head) "Yep".
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