School Daze

This is a picture of the first day of school. (Yes, it was a month ago.) Don't the kids look nice and clean and well groomed and ready for a new day?


You would never guess the amount of stress that goes into making this possible.

Each morning I get up with the mistaken impression that I have plenty of time to get everyone ready for school. (Tyler leaves at 6:45am, the kids leave at 8:30.) You would think that at some point I would have enough foresight to prepare for battle instead of breakfast, but I'm a slow learner. It seems that regardless of how much prep I put in the night before, I am invariably in a cold sweat by 8:25am because I have spent the last hour and a half walking around saying:
"Practice your piano."
"Did you finish your reading?"
"Where is the practice spelling test we did last night?"
"Is that your third bowl of cereal? Leave enough milk for other people."
"No, that was sloppy, practice that song again."
"You can't wear that, it's dirty."
"There is a big wad of gel in your hair, go brush it out."
"Please don't leave your pajamas in a pile on the stairs."
"Did you make your bed?"
"Why did you take your pony tail out? It looked fine!"
"It's not my job to find your shoes."
"No, a bag of chips and a cookie does not qualify as a lunch."

On top of all this, Bryce is usually crying in the background because he has exceeded his "I will only sit in this swing for 15 minutes" mandate, and Spencer at some point yells at me from the bathroom, "Mom! Come wipe my bum!"

I know that an ounce of preparation beats a pound of perspiration, so I honestly try to make sure that everyone's homework is done and in the right folder the night before. But I swear "homework gnomes" come in the middle of the night and scatter everything. I also do regular laundry inspections to ensure everyone has clean clothes to wear. But, to a nine-year-old, "clean" is not as important as "favorite," so we spend many mornings discussing how many times per week one can wear the same shirt. We have also entered the realm of "it's my hair, I'll wear it how I like," which means too much gel for him and a crooked part for her.

Chelsea started piano in August, so I outlined a routine for morning piano practice, which I understood to be Carter: 7:30-7:45 am and Chelsea: 7:45-8:00am. But they see it more as: "If I'm sloppy and resistant and perpetually behind schedule, I may be able to avoid this completely." And, I won't even go into the "pack your own lunch" system that I thought was a great idea at the beginning of the year. That quickly disintegrated into the "Oh forget it, just buy school lunch today" system.

Perhaps I am disorganized, and perhaps my children make things as difficult as possible to avoid as much responsibility as possible. And maybe this is just the plight of the elementary school mother. It's probably a little of each. But somehow each morning we miraculously manage to get everyone dressed, combed, packed, fed, prayed over, hugged, and kissed goodbye. Then I collapse in a heap in the middle of the kitchen floor and wonder why I never have enough energy left to exercise.

But, aren't they cute?